What Does Forgiveness Look Like For You?

Have you ever encountered a situation with a person where you honestly don’t feel as if you’ve wronged them, yet there is negative energy between the two of you? What do you do when you honestly don’t think or feel like you’ve done anything wrong in a particular situation, yet another party was offended or rude toward you in some way and now there’s a chasm between the two of you?  

In these moments, there are times when I’ll sense Spirit nudging me to still extend apologies toward the other party, both to teach me another layer in healthy humility and to “clear the air” so to speak, allowing my conscience to be free and giving both parties some space to process our roles in the situation.

At the same time, what do we do if we actually feel as if the other party wronged us in some way, shape or form? Do we become overly critical and judgmental? Irrespective of which side was “right” or “wrong”, overly critical judgments of the other party can affect our own soul-energy.

How do we get out of that cycle of judgment and criticism, even when we think it is well-founded upon solid facts that impact us personally?  One way is to be willing to do the self-work that enables you to release the other party, in your thought and feeling nature, absolving them of wrongdoing, redeeming them in your mind’s eye, so that YOU can go free!

This is by NO MEANS an easy thing to do. Personally, I think it’s one of the more difficult spiritual practices to engage in. Meditation seems to help loosen the grip that we hold on our own critical opinions. Centering prayer along with breath meditations also seem to help with this spiritual phenomenon of releasing others so that WE can go free.

The old spiritual song says, “It’s me, it’s me, it’s me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer; Not my brother, not my sister, but IT’S ME O Lord, standing in the need of prayer.”

I do think it’s important to confess to yourself, God, [and sometimes others] that you’re harboring critical judgments and maybe bitterness and you WANT to release it. I think this form of confession is a step toward actually doing so (that is, actually releasing it). It’s important to remember that you’re not responsible for how the other party processes the situation or your extended truce, but it is highly important for your own development to clear your conscience and be sure that you and God are in right-standing and that you are, once again, actively engaging and calling forth harmony from the life that surrounds you.

Forgiveness is a spiritual valve that releases the cleansing flow of the Spirit.

Scriptural affirmations like...

“Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10)

can work wonders as a repetitive, subjective prayer.

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Spirit gives me prayerful affirmations like the following:  

“Holy Spirit cleanse my speech,

Holy Spirit cleanse my thought,

That I may produce that which is lovely, good and right.”

Knotted social situations seem to loosen after repeated use of this prayerful affirmation.

This is a profound way to keep the karmic balance of thought-vibrations at optimal levels of functionality - in other words, this is one way to “keep your slate clean” and live free and clear, without lots of emotional baggage related to self and other people.

This does beg the question: If your fellow human-beings offend you, how often should you be forgiving them?

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“Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’” (Matthew 18:21-22 NLT).

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Jesus’ mention of “seventy times seven” is symbolic for an infinite number. It’s a reminder to persevere in attuning oneself back to the state of the GOOD that one desires to bring forth, AND to persistently see others as redeemed children of God despite their natural flaws, including oneself.

So how often should you forgive them? And what does that forgiveness look like FOR YOU?  

Individuals and groups must decide how to apply this in a socially humane way, so as to enhance one’s spiritual development, but not to perpetuate social or systemic oppression.

“But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act—they will be blessed in their doing” (James 1:25 NRSV).

The knowing of this lesson is one matter; the DOING of it is an entirely different matter. May God help and bless the process of our doing!

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~Jason Powell

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